Arrrrrgh! Me hearties one and all, ye be sure t’ avail yerself o’ the week’s end partakin’s. They be 16 and 17 July an’ takin’ place on th’ shores o’ Goulais Bay. Aye! 2031 Mission Road a’ bein’ hosted by Cap’ns Wayne an’ Jenni Madden.
There be a number o’ things ye’d be wantin’ knowin’ so pay me yer heed as I speak me mind regardin’ em:
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If ye needs t’ be bunkin with us, ye needs t’ stake out yer hammock ‘r tent on 15 July upon th’ Friday evenin’. Ye’d be best t’ bring yer tent, yer torches, ‘n’ yer booty t’ share as th’ Cap’ns Madden be presentin’ a barbecue on Saturday fer yer pleasure an’ from henceforth o’ th day, we’ll be sharin’ huntin’ spoils n treasures o’ the sea amongst us pirates as be fittin’ our generous pirate selves of which we are. Scallywags not contributin’ loot n’ booty t’ the pot, well… ye be lookin’ at a long walk off a short plank, ya see, maytee, inta th’ throat o’ Davy Jones’ locker, ye see.
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Ye’ll also be rememberin’ t’ make yer way t’ the LCBO or makin’ yer stop at th’ Duty Free Shop on th’ foreign shores o’ Michigan afore crossin’ o’er th’ sea t’ be snaggin’ yer grog n yer rum fer the week’s end. Again, the Madden Crew bein’ th’ generous, sharin’ lot o’ pirates as whom we all are, shall be sharin’ their rum an’ grog but when it be gone, it be gone an’ if there are parched throats, it be a long, sober way t’ th’ LCBO t’ wet yer whistle, me lads n’ wenches.
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An’ if ye plans t’ sail yer rig in th big regatta, ye needs to come out to the Madden’s vessel on Friday’s evenin’ to shove off and weigh anchor in th’ sea t’ be savin’ yer spot on the Race’s roster at the morrow.
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All young scallywags bein’ under th’ age o’ 14 y’ars best be comin’ with a mum ‘r dad in tow ‘r ye too’ll be tossed in th’ scullery, swabbin’ th’ deck ‘r tied to th’ yardarm ‘r whatever suits the fancy o’ the Cap’n on duty at th’ time. Of’course, if ye has th’ kind permission of the Madden Crew afore th’ week’s end, after checkin’ with yer mums an’ yer dads, then yer kindly welcome aboard.
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An’ just ye be rememberin’ those heartees who’ve turned in fer th’ night after a long sail an’ be keepin’ yer counsel ‘n holdin’ yer tongue from the witchin’ hours o’ that falls between midnight n’ 7:00 a.m.
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Bein’ as we pirates ‘r kind folk, respectin’ most o’ th’ laws o’ th’ land, ye must nay start a fire on any land which be other than th’ pit o’ fire upon the beach
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And seein’ as the above statement declares us bein’ respectful o’ th’ law, there’ll nay be imbibin’ o’ th’ rum ‘r th’ grog upon settin’ sail in a vessel which remains unanchored in a manner which purports to go out t’ sea.
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O’ course ye’ll be bringin’ yer instruments o’ musical persuasion t’ make merry ‘n’ raise a glass ‘r dance a jig upon th’ commencement o’ th’ day ‘r when th’ mood strikes yer soul.
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Bathin’ trunks’ll be a necessary accoutrement ye’ll be needin’ in case ye happens not t’ be sure-footed on deck when alightin’ from a boat upon th’ shore ‘r vice versa an’ in th’ case o’ ye walkin’ th’ plank fer a misdeed, ye see.
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If ye don’t be feelin’ a fancy t’ sail, ye can be bringin’ yer own manner o’ water vessel, such bein’ floaty toys, canoes, kayaks, rowboats, motor boats, r’ rubber dinghys.
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Ye’ll be rememberin’ yer P.F.D.s along with yer vessels, yer bug spray fer all manner o’ bitin’ pests, ‘n’ yer sunscreen if ye is nay wantin’ t’ be kin o’ th’ sea lobster at days end.
July 14th and 15th 2007 
2006 (coveted) Goulais Cup Winner
The Goulais Cup Racing Association gratefully acknowledges the outstanding performance by Men w/ Rugged Good Looks (rockin’ your mom since 2006), the award-winning band from Sault Sainte Marie Michigan. 
